I was on a Carribean Cruise recently and was so impressed with the life philosophy of one of the entertainers, that I am seriously considering making it ten rules instead of nine. Her basic idea was that time is precious. While she used that as a spring board for thanking those who came to enjoy her show, her presnetation really has a great deal of resonance for college students who are probably in a position to waste more time than just about anyone else on the planet.
The performer suggested that every increment of time is precious and to make her point she suggested something like the following. If you want to understand how valuable a year is, talk to politicians who have to run campaigns that last several years. They can tell you how valuable a single year is. The same goes for students in college who might not be taking a particular course seriously enough only to find out that they have to spend yet another year in college or perhaps yet another slug of money that used to be enough to buy a house.
If you want to understand the value of a month, talk to a terminally ill patient who has been given 5 weeks to live. If you want to understand the value of a week, talk to someone on a ten-day vacation. If you want to understand the value of a day, talk to someone who got to the bed of his dying parent a day late. If you want to understand the value of an hour, talk to someone with a sick child who has to wait to see a doctor. If you want to understand the value of a minute, talk to a Super Bowl advertiser. If you want to understand the value of a second, talk to someone who narrowly escaped a horrific accident. And if you want to understand the value of a hundredth of a second, talk to the Olympic swimmer that placed second in a very close race.
Our college bound kids would do well to understand just how precious every moment is. If they made even half as much use of them as they ought to, they would all be way ahead of me.
Possible Rule Ten: Time is Precious
Rule Five: If You Can't Be Good Be Careful
I first heard this rule for life in my college fraternity days. One of my older and wiser fraternity brothers said this to just about everyone. I had largely forgotten about it until my kids grew up a bit.
When the kids were young enough to appreciate directives from their father I would often tell them how important it is to be careful. Sometimes this was directed to them as they were walking by a hot stove or about to run into something. Both of them had an unfortunate habit of looking at me behind them while they wolked straight ahead and directly into something.
As they aged, I came to the conclusion that there was little or no hope in having them be careful just because I requested it. I harkened back to my college days and immediately understood the wisdom in Rule 5. If you give someone a choice (especially one who incorrectly believes he or she is a responsible adult) they are much more likely to exercise at least one of the choices then just to go off and ignore the advice altogether. Giving a college student a choice to be good or be careful significantly increases the chance that they will do at least one of those things. With the propensity of college students to misbehave, there really is no point in insisting that they be good.
How does Rule 5 apply to life outside of college? There really is not anyone who can be good all the time or at least I have not found that person yet. So in those moments when each of us is not being good, we need to exercuise caution and protect ourselves from disaster.
I hate to take all of my examples from the gambling world but it seems to teach some important lessons. There are those that would argue that gambling is not being good. One could certainly argue that point but there are several things one can do when gambling to be careful so that, if gambling is indeed being bad, one can still be using Rule 5. For example, one should never gamble unless one completely understands the game and knows how to gain an advantage over the house or the other player. One should never drink and gamble at the same time. Even those of us with rational judgment about gambling will do poorly after too many drinks. One should gamble in a way that is intended to maximize ones chances of winning rather than in a way that feels right at any moment in time. Rule 6's teaching that one should never mess up a 20 in Blackjack is a classic example of how to apply this rule in a specific card game. Using Texas Hold 'Em Power Plays is another great way to gamble (be bad) and still be careful at the same time.
If you can't be good, be careful.
Rule One is Not as Harsh as it Seems
Many of you reading my suggestion that children and other loved ones should be left in jail for one night might think that it is a bit too harsh. Not true. Even public agencies have picked up on the wisdom of this rule.
There is a public service announcement that runs locally depicting a sort of morality play in which a nice looking young man is thrown in jail for drunk driving. His grandmother is working the phone to try and get him out of jail, apparently not her first effort at this. The young man's grandfather enters the picture, hangs the phone up, and tells grandmother to leave the young man in jail.
I suspect the morality play was intended to shock people and send a message, endorsed by a givernmental agency, that someone who is arrested for drunk driving ought to stay in jail overnight. Either the agency has been reading my material (I doubt that) or they have discovered the wisdom inherent in Rule 1. If you really want to prevent the behavior that led to incarceration, make sure that the incarcerated person suffers some consequences. Leaving a person in jail overnight is about as serious a consequence as one can inflict in these circumstances. Not only will you be doing a service to your loved one who apparently needs to reform his behavior but you are also serving society by increasing the chance that your loved one will not inflict pain, suffering, or perhaps even death on another member of the public.