This is, of course, a famous adage by which poker players live. In poker, as in life, it provides two very fundamental corollaries. First, if you are playing a game (or doing anything else for that matter) with a group of people who all seem to be highly skilled at that activity, it is highly likely that you have found your way in to a group with which you cannot compete favorably. Second, if you are competing with a group of people, you must analyze the strengths and weaknesses of the group in order to compete at the highest possible level. All of this may sound a little excessively competitive, but let’s face it, life is full of competition. The successful princesses will be the ones who played the game better than the competition. If you want to succeed, you need to play better than everyone else.
The first corollary teaches us that we are unlikely to succeed if we insist on competing against people that are clearly more skilled than we are. It is obvious in the poker room but it is equally true in other endeavors. The average algebra student cannot expect to get the highest grade in a class full of algebra geniuses. The first year professional cannot expect to do better than the veteran professional. A freshman music student cannot expect to be first chair in the best orchestra.
Consider the novice, amateur poker player as an example of how we must apply this axiom. The new player enters the casino and joins a poker game in progress. He has two ways he can learn about the game and develop as a player. He can play lots of hands and rarely fold his cards. In this way he can observe how other players conduct themselves and can start to predict how they will play in the future or at least get hints at the nature of the unseen cards from the way they bet or other physical cues. The unfortunate truth is that the new player will lose a great deal of money by playing too many hands. For some real good poker tips, click here.
This rule also applies to raising children. You show up at the science fair with your child and her science project. You helped some by making sure that the presentation was neat and that the child followed all the rules. Billy and his dad show up at about the same time with a project devoted to the way that Billy saved his cat's life by transplanting an important organ. Nevermind that Billy's father is a renowned heart surgeon and probably had something to do with the project. Some parents would vow to compete with Billy and his father by doing something even better next year. Those who follow Rule 8, however, realize that such an endeavor would be destructive, especially for your child who is supposed to be learning something. I suppose he might learn the truth inherent in Rule 8 and that would not be all bad. The rule follower would make sure that next year, his child competed on her own, doing her own work, and learning something in the process.
Suppose you have no choice but to compete with others that may have more experience or better skills than you. If that does not sound familiar, you are probably self-employed and in a business with no competitors. In this case, you must whole heartedly adopt the second corallary. You must fully understand the stengths and weaknesses of your competitors and use that information to assure your own success.
For example, if the guy in the next cubicle appears to be smarter than you, better trained, better educated, or more experienced you cannot just sit idly and wonder why he gets all the breaks. That would be the role of the sucker and will result in low satisfaction and limited success. The rule follower will, instead, study his competition and learn his strengths and weaknesses. In his areas of strength, one would be wise to ask for instruction from the competitor. Who among us is not flattered when someone asks us how to perform? Having identified areas of weakness, the rule follower will do everything in his power to become thoroughly proficient in those skills. In this way, the rule follower becomes more satisfied with his job, his employer gets better service out of the combined talents of the two competitors, and the rule follower increases his chance of winning. That automatically means that he is not the sucker at this table.
Rule Eight: If you cannot tell who the sucker is, it is probably you.
Rule for Life Number 8
You may be the sucker.
